Paradise Re-found

Josh Groban is one of my favorite singers. I get moist every time I hear him sing. "Broken Vow" is my favorite song by him (I also love singing it). After it became my favorite, I was always afraid that one day the song would describe how I felt. That day is today.

"Broken Vow"

Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

I let you go
I let you fly
Now that I know I’m asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

I just agreed not to talk to the person with whom I'd fallen in love. Possibly forever.

Long distance lovers didn't work. Also, we made each other miserable trying to be just friends - upsetting the other person or constantly causing each other stress.

From July of last year until tonight, I randomly saved a few of our online conversations. Comparing tonight's with the previous ones, I find it hard to see that it's the same two people chatting.

I'm officially moving on. I can't believe it's over.

So leave if you're leaving
Go if you must go
You won't see me down on my knees
Begging you to come back home
'Coz I refuse to give you the right
To cause these eyes to cry at night
I'm well prepared to live my life without you

When you walk away
You won't walk away with my heart
There will be no tears in the dark
No crying, no dying, no waiting for you to come back
When you're out the door
That don't mean I won't breathe no more
And I will not beg you to stay
When you walk, when you walk, when you walk away,
when you walk away

This heart won't stop beating
'Coz you say goodbye
You won't see me fall all in pieces
Or break all apart inside
And I will lose not one night of sleep
Crying for what couldn't be
I'm well prepared to never think about you

When you walk away
You won't walk away with my heart
There will be no tears in the dark
No crying, no dying, no praying for you to come back
When you're out the door
That don't mean I won't breathe no more
And I will not beg you to stay
When you walk, when you walk, when you walk away

'Coz I refuse to give you the right
To cause these eyes to cry at night
I'm well prepared to live my life without you, without you

When you walk away
You won't walk away with my heart
There will be no tears in the dark
No crying, no dying, no begging
When you're out the door
That don't mean I won't breathe no more
And I will not beg you to stay
When you walk, when you walk, when you walk away

You won't walk away with my heart
There will be no tears in the dark
No crying, no dying, no begging for you to come back

When you walk away
When you walk away
Just walk away
Please walk away
Just walk away
No crying, no dyirng
Just walk away

I don't think I can take this!
I don't think I can take this!
I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do!
I just wanna hit something!
I wanna hit it hard!

You know if I were to find out that I had a terminal disease (or even just a really bad one), I would want to know right now. I'm so numb that my bad news meter has pegged out. Any other bad news wouldn't have much of an effect on me at this point. I'm not giving any specifics cause I'm tired of talking and dealing with it.

It's like the episode of South Park where Cartman sees something so funny that he just isn't able to laugh any more. That's me but with sadness.

It's okay because...

I'm a survivor                                           Oh no, not I
I'm not gon give up                                I will survive
I'm not gon stop                                       as long as I know how to love
I'm gon work harder                              I know I will stay alive
I'm a survivor                                          I've got all my life to live
I'm gonna make it                                  I've got all my love to give
I will survive                                            and I'll survive
Keep on survivin'                                  I will survive



Onto vacation news:

Next week is spring break. My plans for the Grand Canyon were cancelled due to the fact that I don't want to go alone. This week a friend from South Carolina asked me to come see him. When I checked the airfare prices, I couldn't find anything less than $950 (2 years ago when I went to see him it was only $250). So if I want to go there, I've got to drive. Maybe I could visit some friends in the GA-SC-NC area. That would be a fun road trip. But I honestly can't think of anything else to do at the last minute.

We shall see.

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

Recent developments with a friend has made me smile constantly for the last few days. :-) More to come later.

To quote Bambi:

Why, don't you know? They're twitterpated.

Twitterpated?

Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head's in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you're walking on air. And then you know what? You're knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!